I can certainly understand your concern, smee64. As for what’s “normal,” I can tell you that a study found almost 40% of boys age 16 – 17 sought out porn online. And you're right - hormones, curiosity, and just plain interest in things sexual can have a strong pull on kids (especially teenage boys). Researchers are still unsure exactly how and to what extent porn affects kids.

It sounds like you and your husband need to get on the same page about what’s acceptable in your family, then have a calm (non-confrontational) chat with your son. You could explain your family's values in this area and how everyone needs to express those values in their lives at least as long as they’re under your care (and set consequences for breaking the rules). You could also tell your son how you feel about porn - for example, that it's a distortion of love and sex and, as such, can be destructive to normal loving relationships and sexual development.

I hope this helps. Please let us know how things go, OK?

Maureen

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Maureen Kochan
ConnectSafely community manager